13 Years of Youth Sports: The Lessons, Memories, and Moments That Made It Special

As my son transitions into his teenage years and the world of youth sports begins to change, I wanted to capture some of my most meaningful observations from the past 13 plus years of watching and coaching him.

Watching my son, nephews, and friends' children compete has brought me a tremendous amount of joy while also giving me opportunities to learn, grow, and build relationships.

This chapter of my life has been a special one.

These are some of my reflections, observations, and lessons from the experience.

Joy & Discovery

Watching and enjoying sports like cross country that I never participated in—and never expected to enjoy watching as much as I do. Moving around to different spots during a race to catch glimpses of your kid (and others), then watching that all-out sprint over the final 200 meters—it never gets old.

Watching my son wrestle in grade school. I had no background in the sport, but I was drawn in by the intensity and the way teammates supported each other through wins and losses. You could actually see kids toughen up and gain confidence in real time.

Learning the rules of sports I had only passively followed before—like finally understanding offsides in soccer. Along the way, I’ve developed a real appreciation for sports like tennis, lacrosse, volleyball, and wrestling. I’ve always loved learning, and youth sports has provided endless opportunities to do just that.

Growth & Development

Seeing kids develop over multiple years of coaching them in the same sport, especially park district basketball. Watching someone who couldn’t dribble in a game two years ago grow into a player who contributes a key basket in a playoff game—that’s a great feeling for everyone involved.

Seeing kids join a team just to be part of something. Many didn’t grow up playing the sport, don't practice outside of games, and may only play the sport for one season. But watching them score their first basket or goal—or simply contribute in a meaningful way—was always special. They were part of something, which is what they really wanted and what mattered to them the most.

Giving my son honest feedback to help him improve, grow and learn. I’ve always believed one of my responsibilities as a parent is to be truthful—celebrating effort and success, but not “blowing smoke.” Everyone needs someone in their life who will level with them. I hope he knows that I will always be honest with him throughout his life.

Instilling the values of hard work, effort, and resilience as a coach. These lessons extend far beyond sports into all aspects of life. Over the years, I've developed a 10 page list of quotes and reminders gleaned from daily reminder emails I receive and self improvement books I've read over 30 plus years. This has proved to be a valuable resource to me during some of my individual discussions with players and during team discussions--before big games and after tough losses that end a season.

Relationships & Bonding

Getting to know other coaches during practices and games and across seasons. There’s a lot of conversation time while kids are scrimmaging, and over time you build connections, share experiences, and sometimes form real friendships. You also navigate the occasional challenge (parent complaints, practice chaos, playing time conversations) together.

Standing behind the goal during youth soccer games to provide in-game goalie coaching. When the offense was in charge, our interactions turned into small talk and I got to know the kids that rotate (quarter my quarter) through the goal in youth park district soccer. Small, simple moments that stick with you.

Coaching my son's 6th grade basketball team with my (then) 9th-grade nephew. We learned from each other and bonded over practices, games, and post-practice Friday night dinners.

Bonding with my family and 4 nephews over 20 years of attending games, serving as an occasional backup ride, coaching together and experiencing laughter, tears and ultimately love tied to a shared appreciation of sport.

Youth sports has also deepened bonds with friends I’ve known for 30+ years. Showing up for each other’s kids’ games has given us more time together—more conversations, meals, and shared moments. As some of the kids move on to high school and college sports and you see them compete at that level, it becomes something even more meaningful—almost generational.

Competition, Perspective & Life Lessons

Emphasizing defense, rebounding, and effort in basketball. I've coached Lombard Park District youth basketball the most of any sport and have always emphasized these concepts, in addition to heart and effort over size (particularly when your team doesn't have a lot of size 🙂). Not every player is a scorer or skilled shooter, but everyone can contribute by hustling, defending and setting screens, filling a valuable role on the team. That’s one of the best lessons sports can teach.

Learning how to adjust my message depending on the player. Some kids are there for fun, others because their parents signed them up and others because they love the sport. Some kids are serious, some not so much so and others may be dealing with challenges that extend beyond the court or field that you may not fully see. A one-size-fits-all approach doesn't work for many players. Dealing with these experiences has helped me to be more patient and empathetic.

Bringing my own perspective to coaching—focusing on effort, preparation, exercise, and nutrition. I'm sure more than a few kids probably groaned 😀 when they saw the Sarcletti name on the soccer snack list—knowing it meant bananas and some "healthy" variety of popcorn, granola bar or juice box instead of candy, Doritos and a sugary sport drink.

The parents. The experience has been overwhelmingly positive, with a few situations that required patience and navigation. Every parent wants what’s best for their child and (usually) the team—even if that looks different from the sidelines. That's part of the responsibility when you volunteer to coach (and there are far too few volunteer coaches). The fact that kids continued to select my team year after year in basketball makes me wonder if I may have had some minor impact on these childrens lives.

Pride, Emotion & Letting Go

Seeing tears in kids’ eyes after losing a championship game. Not entitlement—but genuine emotion. Tears because they cared. Because they invested. Because it mattered. These experiences have been some of the most impactful things I've witnessed coaching.

Those moments are powerful reminders that opportunities like that are rare—and that sports seasons, like phases of life, come to an end.

Sports seasons are a good metaphor for life. No school year, season, team, relationship or marathon is the same, even if on the surface it's just a year/season/team/relationship/marathon.

Experiences and Gratitude

Traveling for youth sports—especially soccer tournaments and summer sports camps—and discovering new places along the way. As my books and blog get into, I love to explore and find something fun and interesting in any place I visit and have enjoyed exploring places in Illinois, Wisconsin, Iowa and beyond over the past 5 years. It's likely that I might have never made it to some of these areas if it weren't for sports and these experiences have afforded me the opportunity to discover new places and build my database of memories. Whether this has included exploring caves in an Iowa state park or visiting a restaurant that's been on "my list" for 5 years in a town 40 minutes away, there's always something new to experience.

Picking up a long laid away sport (snow skiing) after 15 years and then watching my son thrive in the sport. After 5 ski seasons, he is now skiing on advanced slopes in Beaver Creek and Vail that I had to opt out of in favor of safe groomer runs. I highly doubt I would have started taking lessons to learn how to ski at the age of 45 if I didn't already have 15 to 20 ski days (accumulated as a youth) under my belt.

More than anything, feeling grateful to my parents for giving me the opportunity to learn how to ski when I was young. It’s one of those gifts that keeps on giving—creating opportunities for meaningful father-son time that I hope continues for years to come.